Duck Duck Cougar?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
