Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
