I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I cannot find my penis.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
