Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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