Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
