I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
