That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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