Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
