break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
