My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just gift wrapped bread.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
