are you so shy because you have an std?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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