i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
