well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
