So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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