saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
