You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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