My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
