if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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