Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
