I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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