8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
