Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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