I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
where does the pee come out of this thing
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
