check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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