have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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