Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Drunk is not a location!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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