At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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