so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
