Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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