I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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