I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
