Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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