i can't believe i had my finger in that
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
