Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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