Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
