i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
