So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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