Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
