I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
