he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
