I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
