I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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