You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.