I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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