You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit