is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
