you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
