Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
