So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
