Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
