when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
