Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
