You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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