My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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