She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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