Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
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I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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