Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize