U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
