for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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