Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize