At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
