She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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