Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My life is pants optional.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
