She announced her abortion via fbk
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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