1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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