I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
