I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
