I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
