Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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