Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ladies don't puke and tell
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
