$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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