Your face is a jimmy john
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
soo... how was my night?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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