If i come over, it means nothing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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